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Things I learned on my summer vacation cross country move.

• Wood breaks just as easily as glass, sometimes even more so.
• Two small children can produce more toxic smells than in legal in all 50 states. I’m still looking over my shoulder for the EPA.
• Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder. (HI VERMONTSTERS! I miss you terribly.This desert is dry.)
• Driving a 22 foot monster truck, towing a car isn’t that hard. Except for the fresh hell that is backing up. I could almost see myself driving a big rig. I’d paint it purple and write “Big Mama” on it.
• The gas tax is a bunch of utter bullshit. America’s roads are in sad shape. There are some interstate roads in Minnesota that make a class 4 road, in Vermont, during mud season look good. And construction… OY! Don’t get me started on the “construction.” For some unknown reason in the prairie states, when they decide to fix some roads, they route you to two lane traffic; only to be divided by mother-effing match-sticks. I kid you not. It isn’t comforting to know the only thing separating you from (certain death) traffic zooming by at a mere 70mph is a 3 inch plastic pylon. (At least back east they have enough common sense to use those concrete Jersey barriers! For crying out loud.) It makes that 400+ miles of South Dakota seem like 4K.
• South Dakota…. South Dakota. South Dakota. Humm, what exactly to say about South Dakota. My least favorite and most favorite. An enigma that way. No offense to any South Dakotans out there, but ya’ll aren’t too friendly. I guess I’d be pretty grumpy too if I lived near some gigantic, scary pseudo-patriotic sculpture. (Yes, we skipped Rushmore.) I do believe there are more billboards in South Dakota than there are people. That, too would make me grumpy. Just driving past them for 400+ miles made me go a bit ape shit. Mind you, I’m coming from Vermont, where billboards are illegal… as perhaps it should be. (I don’t think this was taken in SD, but I made Matt snap it because it made me think of someone.) Now for the positive aspects of South Dakota… … The Badlands. It is, dare I say it an oasis, abet, a dry one (cept for when we were there.) The Badlands are such a sight for sore eyes. After nearly a thousand miles of flat (Southern Minnesota is virtually indistinguishable from South Dakota or Iowa, or Nebraska –> FLAT! Windy etc) one approaches the painted buttes rising towards the sky as if to say “Save me from this god forsaken prairie” (and I can’t say I blame them) and it is like a mirage. No matter if you have seen the Grand Canyon or not; to stumble upon this land after complete desolation is a goddess sent. Needless to say, we enjoyed our stay and rest in the Badlands NP. (So much so there is a set over on the flickr.) The Hallowed ground otherwise known as the Badlands should have had it’s own blog post. I digress, South Dakota a bit of heaven and hell.
• Yellowstone is over-rated. (Nuff said?) Perhaps not. The campgrounds are a pile of shit. It is absolutely disgusting the way they pack people in there. I could have sworn we were in mother0effing Manhattan (speaking of over-rated.) We didn’t stay.The land is crazy beautiful.
• I can drive 20 hours a day in a straight line, on flat roads, but 5 hours tops on small mountain roads. And ya better not talk to me or touch me. Please no fighting or I’m going to feed you to that bear over there. And mountain roads, they look eleventy billion times more damming after midnight. For instance, one night, someplace in Montana near Yellowstone, I was too terrified to drive anymore. Granted, it was some mountain pass, and we had just crossed the continental divide, twice or three times (who’s exactly counting?)…. I pulled over on the side of this cliff, and declare, “That’s it, we are sleeping here” I load everyone into the back of the Penske (LORD, NO! WE ARE NOT PUTTING UP THE TENT THERE ARE BEARS OUT HERE!!!) I set up those orange triangle reflector things, so none of the semis zooming by would hit us and kill us dead; triple checked the emergency break, secured the garbage (LORD! THE BEARS!) and locked myself in to try to sleep. Try, because with every little noise I heard, I freaked. I must have woken Matt up at least 50 times. “Did you hear that?” “Are we rolling backwards??!!!!?” Eventually, I did get some sleep. Granted I shot awake at the crack of dawn. And when I emerged from the yellow submarine, I found we were parked on almost entirely flat ground, and not even remotely on the side of a cliff. Go figure.
• The Grand Tetons. Both Grand and Tetonious.
• Wi-fi; not unlike a good cup of coffee is hard to find west of the Mississippi. Speaking of the Mighty Miss, the Big River, the Old Man… I lost my lens cap in it. If anyone has a spare for a Rebel, I’d gladly take it off your hands.
• Country music is entirely more popular than I could have ever imagined. I do declare that it is the most popular genre in these here united states; followed closely by arena rock. (Note to self: If any type of trip like this is ever taken again; make sure a CD player is in the vehicle.)
• As spectacular and beautiful as this country is, it is just as ugly and forsaken as well.

I’ve been writing this piece meal on stolen wi-fi, so forgive if it is choppy.

I set up my wheels yesterday, and spun up a few bobbins of some very Vermont type stuff (”Peepers” in case anyone remembers it.) Today & tomorrow, I set up the dye studio. That is if the weather stays cool.

Over and out.

xo!