My tea tastes like bathwater
For once, I would love for our usual morning chaos, not to happen. I dream of quiet mornings, where everything runs smoothly, no one gets hurt, everyone is healthy, & no one yells.
A snippet of this morning’s yelling:
3: It’s a pineapple
5: No!! It’s a house!
3: It’s a pineapple
5: No!! It’s a house!
3: It’s a pineapple
5: No!! It’s a house!
(Wash, Rinse, Repeat until mom interjects)
34: It is a pineapple AND a house!
3&5 (in rebellious unison) NOOOOOOOO!
They do good work, turning it on me. (never fails.)
I have no doubt that if I was not a slob better at housekeeping, and was more organized, things would be smoother, because as much as I need to be by the seat of my pants, I loathe it too.
This is what happens when I run out of post-it notes.
(Gasp! I lost my pen, too!)
And, speaking of my less than stellar housekeeping.
Our tree, still standing (even tho 3 keeps trying to change that.) Lookit all of those needles!
I have started to refuse to vac them up. It is principle. It’s going to keep dropping those little effers. Why waste good vacuum effort? (You will be happy to know Sue, that all Polly Pocket shoes have been swallowed up by the sucker machine, in a stealth move, per your “advice”. Although, I did feel some guilt. I suspect that the makers of Polly Pockets anticipate such a scenario, and earn their living from that: Using MotherGuilt against us, inspiring us to buy yet more of those little buggers, only to be vacuumed up, thus inspiring more MotherGuilt. Vicious cycle.) I digress, that tree should come down already….
I fear, I’ll never get the hang of our mornings. It has been four months since 5 has started started skool & I’m still not running the show in any type of smooth & effective manner. In fact, I suspect 5 has developed some deep resentment with my apparent shortcomings.
Again with morning snippet:
5: Not that shirt, I want the kitty shirt
34: No, you just wore the kitty shirt.
5: grumbles in protest.
34: Thank you, now get your socks on…
5: NOOOOO! Not those socks!
34: Why not?
5: They AREN’T glitter sparkle socks!!
34: Sorry, just put them on please, we are going to be late.
5: MOM! YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE
34: Well, sweets, it was bound to happen sooner or later, get used to it.
(note: She is 5, not 15. & this happens to be the second time I have been told I was “ruing her life.” The first time was over some pigtails that weren’t up to her exacting standards. Sheesh.)
I suspect I’ll miss these times in 16 or so years. Until then, I suppose I will have to rework my schedule & start to get up at 4:30, just so I can have some quiet time with my coffee and my sticks & string.
Speaking of my sticks & string, you surely didn’t just come here for the parenting rant, no?
Formerly known as Hand Things
Now Mitts in Progress
Much better.
& My yarn from the other day
Has turned into a scarf,
I was going for “dramatic” but I wound up with “Muppet”.
It told me the other day that it should have been a wrap, not a scarf. I told it to go screw, the only thing worse than frogging plain mohair yarn, is frogging mohair locks. yup. Perhaps, I’ll be sorry down the road… Can’t win ‘em all.
And on that note, I am being summonsed by 3, to go build a snowperson. (Yes! Colorado & New Mexico have decided to stop hogging all of Vermont’s snow.) So, I best get out there before I’m accused of ruining his life, too.
♥
Wow.
I knew I was gay for a reason.
Cute mittens.
January 10th, 2007 | #
Sounds like a Spongebob discussion. I think you need some Me-Time.
Keep spinnin’, it’s good for the head! XO
January 10th, 2007 | #
MOM! YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE
I love that one. I figure if I ruin her life at 6 what the hell will I be doing to it at 16.
I know it won’t make you feel better but our house has similar ahem, discussions. I keep meaning to call but I think of it at the wrong times. Like 11 pm last night haha. Soon soon.
I love the knitting. that scarf is fantastic.
January 10th, 2007 | #
Your tree is still up too! Glad I am not the only one (although ours is fake so we don’t have to worry about needles or watering it).
The scarf is great!
January 10th, 2007 | #
The scarf is great, and so are the mitts!
What could be a pineapple AND a house? Just wondering…
January 10th, 2007 | #
I limit myself to one cup of the evil brew a day, just to remind me that I’m inhuman.
“The man who sold the world” is one of the top five songs of the 20th century but “Heroes” was more appropriate.
Love you ’til Tuesday.
January 10th, 2007 | #
The yarn is great, but the family stuff is better. How come you get snow, and down south here (40 miles or so) our little dusting all blew away today?
I’m glad to hear your daughter is 5 going on 15. My 7yo girl is a drama queen who is turning our formerly boy-only world upside down. I’m okay with her, as we share the same hormones and x chromosome. But my husband will be in a loony bin when she reaches actual, rather than imagined, teenage-ness.
On the bright side for you, the boy will be easier. Of course, you’ll be a basket case by then.
January 10th, 2007 | #
I love the scarf! It is not muppet!
January 10th, 2007 | #
Oh goodness. I can’t believe that at 5, you are already ruining her life. Just wait until you hit these delightful teenage years that I’m getting to deal with! Wheee! The fun never ends…
January 10th, 2007 | #
Wow, and I was thinking about having kids. Good thing my greyhound can’t talk.
Love the mittens. The scarf gonna be a wrap is beautiful too. I feel your pain for you, but you may as well go ahead cause you know it is going to be a wrap - it is destiny. No point in prolonging your pain.
My mom ruined my life too and I turned out OK. She will survive. Just give her the old song and dance about having to walk 2 miles to school in the snow uphill both ways. That always works.
Enjoy your needles - maybe you could soak them and spin them?
Holly
January 11th, 2007 | #
When you figure out how to make mornings with children run more smoothly let me know. My son and daughter have very simalar fights every morning while I’m trying to get everything together so we can get to the bus stop on time. Love the mitts!
January 11th, 2007 | #
awww, you can do it!
if it makes you feel any better, i am inspired that you have kids and the house isn’t clean! sometimes i think that i will be a terrible, aweful parent b/c of my failure to keep house. Your post reminds me that we don’t have to have disinfected television homes to be good parents. yay!
January 11th, 2007 | #
Raising children is like an Olympic event — you do your personal best. My favorite saying — Raising children is like trying to nail Jello to a tree. Hang in there!!!
January 12th, 2007 | #
I’m from Colorado and you can HAVE my snow… as long as you share it with my family in New Hampshire. In Colorado, they have not yet discovered what it means to “plow.”
January 12th, 2007 | #
Hey, I ruin *my* daughter’s life, too! And, no one will ever love me again. Ever. E.E.E.E.H.V.E.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R….
January 17th, 2007 | #
You want a glimpse at 16? Here is a peek into my life:
Dobby: I want a tattoo
Me (raising one eyebrow): Oh really? Where were you planning on putting it?
Dobby: Right on the crack of my ass.
Me: That’ll really impress the college interviewers.
Dobby: They won’t even see it.
Me: Yeah right. With the pants you wear?
Dobby: Well I’m doing it.
Me: So, when do you want me to help you pack?
Dobby: Eh?
Me: You know the deal, no tattoos, no piercings if you want to continue to enjoy free room and board.
Dobby: YOU SUCK. YOU’RE RUINING MY LIFE!!
Me: I love you too, honey.
(she stopped saying ‘I hate you’ when we took away her cell and grounded her for two weeks the last time she said it) ;o)
Just look what you have to anticipate *grin* From what I hear, they do turn back into humans around 25…
January 21st, 2007 | #
Oh, I’m LOL over this post. And I do believe that the theme song goes, “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”, so I’m thinking that the correct answer is pineapple. I’m going to have to ban Nickelodeon at my house before my kids have that very same argument.
January 24th, 2007 | #
I love the scarf, it immediately reminded me of “Animal”!
January 31st, 2007 | #