and on the seventh day, someone said “and let there be only more rain”
our scene begins, on a dark and gloomy morning, someplace in the woods of vermont. where our heroine has been subjected to seven straight days of rain.
*loud knock*
’suse me ma’m, we have some reports of some violations here.
pardon me sherrif, but i’m unawares of any violations here. i’m just going about my day.
just take a look over yonder, ma’m
*laughs*
that is just my spinning, sherrif.
exactly, ma’m. or should i say, perp.
look at this! you put ramie in with silk sari and angora?!
do i even need to mention the abuse of *tinkle*?
that alone violates most laws of good taste.
’scuse me, sheriff; but isn’t taste subjective???
it’s a fine lace weight yarn.
*in a stern voice*
that may be, missy.
but, do you have plans for this yarn?
*getting sweaty*
um, plans, why, no…
*growing increasingly irritated*
i see.
well, don’t you have plans to meet with people you haven’t seen in 10 years, today?
and you are still un showered
*chuckles*
well, anyone who knows me, knows i stink.
*YELLING*
that is beside the point, where are your priorities?!
don’t you have deadlines? things that you need to do.
*hangs head in shame*
yes, but you don’t understand… i was compelled!
ahh, i see, compulsion, an addict, eh?
*sniffs arround*
is that HEMP!?! you put hemp in this yarn??… that’s it missy. it’s all over for you…
*trying to defend herself*
but, it’s european hemp, sheriff.. we don’t buy hemp from china.
that’s it lady, i’m calling the u-haul and we are confiscating your stash.
*gets faint*
NO!
anything but that
take my children, take the coke-a-cola i have stashed in the fridge..
anything! i’ll give you anything, just leave my fibers!!
*lights dim*
*curtian closes*
it too can happen to you, next time it rains for 7 straight days, watch your back
♥
Oh, NOOOOOO! [Insert deep announcer voice here:] “Stay tuned for the daring adventures of ….”
Oops, don’t want to get you into too many bad Google hits.
That was a very funny post.
May 19th, 2006 | #
oh my dear sweet fancy jeezus.
I just laughed so hard I nearly stroked out, there.
May 19th, 2006 | #
wow. slowly back away from the spinning wheel…there you go.
:)
yeah, this rain is something huh? I had a bit of the crazies today too, walking back from the po with my dog, I just started giggling and splashing in running in the puddles, if you can beat it, join it right?
May 19th, 2006 | #
HAHHHHAAAA!!!!! It hurts. It hurts.
May 19th, 2006 | #
oh my lawd you have just brightened my day!! the rain..the weeds… the seasonal affective disorder… shouldn’t it be sunny by now?!!
May 19th, 2006 | #
Oh boy, you guys on the east coast are cracking up now too! Here it is day 10 of rain but they promise sunshine tomorrow. I’m taking the girls out to the bark park, they’re stir crazy! I can just imagine what shape your chilrens is in! especially since mom done lost it
May 19th, 2006 | #
bwaahaaahaaa
I needed that.
May 19th, 2006 | #
Too freakin’ perfect. the girl-crush rages on.
May 19th, 2006 | #
I thought it was pronounced “author-i-tay.”
May 19th, 2006 | #
Brilliant!
May 22nd, 2006 | #
[…] it was the yarn i was spinning in this here post those descriptions are in italics because some boob went around dissing other people’s yarn. for no other reason than he has some stick up his ass wouldn’t spin yarn like that; or something… whatever gets you thru the day, i suppose? whatever makes you feel better about youownself? hurt all the people you want to? jealousy is a terrible monster, and it will eat you alive. so, this week, it became multifaceted for me. (as it often does…) rule #1 of friendship… have your sister’s back. […]
May 26th, 2006 | #